in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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