Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
