I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
