My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
