I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
