What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
