i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
