How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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