Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Randomize
