you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
