so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Pants are for mortals
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize