And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
