i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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