he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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