my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize