He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
