Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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