The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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