3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
there is glitter all over my balls
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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