Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You need a sexual gate keeper
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
