she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
