Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
