she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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