Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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