was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
