in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
