ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
