some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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