You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
