the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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