I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm really into asian looking animals
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Help. Why am I so naked?
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