so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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