Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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