Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
