hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
