Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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