the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
