I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
