best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
