I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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