are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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