last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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