I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
