Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
