he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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