stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
