You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
