i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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