i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
time to smoke my breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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