i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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