girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize