I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
