worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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