you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
