He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize