what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
