week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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