So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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