come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I don't deserve a penis
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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