my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
