Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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