Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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