White coat. Heels.
Sponge bath it is.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Randomize
