how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
