Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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