I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
