shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize