There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
