Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
